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Triathletes, roadies don’t like them cause they don’t follow the ‘rules‘ and they are are the bane of bike mechanics cause they show up at the 11th hour before an event they have been training for months if not years for expecting you to be able to drop everything and service their bike for them by the afternoon. I myself have a bike with bars that point forward so I feel I am allowed to rip on them, though I would die before you caught me riding in compression socks.

Having just spent 9 hours sitting on the back of a motorcycle last Sunday tending to the needs of unfortunate and or ill prepared athletes at the Ironman Copenhagen I feel like I have some pearls of wisdom to share. 
 
Pearl #1 

Compression socks increase blood flow in your legs and help aid in recovery. When you are out killing it on an ironman course your legs are doing everything they can to move blood around your body, socks aren’t going to change anything. Plus it will help cut down on the roadie-hate. While we are at it, lose the white kit, there is only one person that can pull of the white kit look and they have these lovely little rainbow stripes on them. 
 
#2 

Test your equipment before you need to use it. I have tried this one myself. Do the valves on your spare tubes match your rims? Does the head on your CO2 pump fit your valves? Do you know how to change a tube? Did you choose fancy lightweight tyres or something a little more practical? Are you running latex tubes, and if not, why not? 
 
#3 

You have spent months training, thousands of kroner on a race entry, for gods sake why don’t you buy a new set of tyres before the race? (And put latex tubes in them) 
 
#4 

Aero bike, aero helmet, nice tight suit, good position, and sporting the ZZ Top look? Beards aren’t aero. Enough said. 
 
#5 

Position. So many people sitting badly on their bikes. It made me wince. Get help, you need it. Gitte, #106, get some tri bars, you are missing out on free speed, 2km/h over 180km is a whole lot of time. But to the one guy I saw riding a flat bar city bike with mud guards and a carrier on the back, respect, that shit was mad. 
 
#6 

If you are going to ride tubulars then for fucks sake learn how to glue/tape them on! And if you don’t know (which is a stupid idea, learn that shit) then get a shop that knows what they are doing to glue them on for you AND prep your spare tyre with a stretch and a round of glue. I saw some tyres holding on to the rim by what the danes would call a ‘pussy hair’ and then got replaced with an unglued tubular, made me wince, again. 
 
#7 

Once more, learn to change a tube. 
 
#8 

If you would like your bike checked before you race then I suggest you put as much effort into that as you have everything else and BOOK A TIME.

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